2008/11/02

Sunday Night was a good night!!

The five of us went to a local Thai Restaurant called the Cow and Bridge. Chris went unwillingly thinking she was not going to like anything. We ordered a light dinner since we ate so much at lunch although David said he ordered a “light” lunch. Ha. For dinner, we ordered fruit, Thai spring rolls, a calamari dish with an orange juice sauce on the side and some Thai fried rice. Bill’s stomach is a little off and therefore he was not partaking in dinner. (Not anything he can say is due to the “local” foods, he thinks he ate some nuts in one of the dishes the other night. Nuts always seem to bothers him.) Chris said the calamari was her favorite thing so far on the entire trip. Kassie liked it as well so add calamari to her repertoire of foods.

Everyone laughs watching Kassie at each meal. We are now convinced that either the foster family Kassie was with did not have a lot of food, she did not like the food given, or she was last to eat and only had what was not accounted for. Regardless, for now, she can eat as much as she want and she does so with gusto. We laugh thinking Grandma C is looking down from heaven and smiling to her hearts content. One of the first days we were together she had a plate of watermelon and when she was done with the melon, she picked up the dish and slurped the juice. She eats her noodles and rice with a spoon until she cannot fill the spoon and then moves the dish to the end of the table and shovels the remaining amount in her mouth. Tonight we decided she had enough so we moved the rice out of her sight. She finished her plate and then looked at PaPa’s dish which still had rice on it and motioned her empty spoon to him as if to say, “Hey, I’ll have some of that.” We will deal with table manners later…bigger fish to fry now. She is happy when we are together at meals and well fed….the rest will come.

Tonight we tried leaving MeMa and PaPa to their room and the three of us together in our room and do “sleepy-time” ourselves. We watched two episodes of Kai-Lan together. Then we had silly time. We twilled on the floor, jumped around, giggled, and generally had a good time. Mommy got a couple of actual kisses and some nice rubs on the arm. . We laughed and played.. It is midnight and Daddy is trying to get someone to sleep. The sleepier she gets the more there seems to be a resort to hitting or biting.

Some additional words to the mimic’s vocabulary…she can now say “Kassie Fu” (which is what we have been calling her). It comes out more like “Kassie Poo” but hey….it’s close. We also say “Hey”, “Thank You”, “Good Girl”, “Nice”, “Mommy”, and “Daddy”. She also said, “no more pinching”. After a nice big drink of water she will also open her mouth and go ”AHHH!” She will also put her finger to her lips and say, “Shhh”.

All of us are in agreement, the issue with her tongue does not effect her ability to speak or eat…..we’ll deal with that in time as well.

Night night from us in Guangzhou………..love to all……………

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like things are getting better each day. I'll have to get some watermelon here before you all come home. Glad to see that "mommy" isn't quite the bad guy as much. Little by little things will get better and you will be a happy family. Love you all. Just a couple more days and you will be home. Yeah!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the book, but you did say you welcomed comments and thoughts :). I hope some of what I have to say helps as well.

To start with, Kassi is absolutely adorable! She has those kissable little cheeks and you can see that impish little grin just hiding within her. You are so blessed, as is she, to now be a family together!

I want to believe that I know things are so hard for you right now, especially adopting a toddler. One who from it sounds, is so set in her ways! The joys (HA) of parenthood... They are setting in with you my dears! Why? Because I've been there!

We've adopted several toddlers (1.5+), and it wasn't quite the cake walk we assumed it to be. In the end though, it was worth it. I'm going to offer my 2cents and my advice... Take it as you will, with a grain of salt.

With it comes to hitting, pinching, and anything physical, we always gently took our childrens hands and covered them them with our own and said "Look at Momma/Daddy" then the childs name then "NO hit / punch / pinch / slap / scratch" quite firmly. We did this every single time, and they soon realized it was a no. Biting, we placed two fingers directly over their mouths and did the exact same thing along with a "no bite/spit". Each time we did this, we would also make sure that the child had eye contact with us as we said it.

We learned early on, to help with bonding issues, that food, drinks, snacks, and general care (diaper changes, potty breaks, etc) only came from us, the parents. We were very careful who we let hold our children as well in those first few months. We wanted our children to associate us as the primary care givers from here on out, as the ones who would be there for them no matter what.

Our therapist also recommended that when they began to fight sleep, to snuggle with them and hold them until they calmed down/relaxed, and fell asleep, and continue holding them if possible. If that wasn't possible, then to at least try and watch for signs they were waking up, and be there for them when they woke up, so they saw you immediatley when waking up, thus realizing you were still there. Remembering that they had just had a great loss of caregivers, and you wanted to once again, reassure them that you were there now, and always would be.

It's hard when adopting from a different culture. Especially one that disapproves of many things that we as Americans seem to think as normal. We adopted an older child from China as well (3.5) and carried her quite often as she was a tiny little thing. We often got told she needed to walk as well. We thanked them for their opinions and CARRIED her away. This was our child now, not theirs. Same thing went with the strollers and with them trying to cover her with blankets. I'm sorry, but we're the ones adopting her, not them.

It's interesting because at times I wanted to ask them how many children THEY had adopted from their own country, but I didn't... I know China has so many children that are abandoned... I know that we are the ones coming in and taking these children out of orphanages and bringing them into loving homes, yet these people are chastizing us for carrying them or not bundling them up to THEIR standards? I'm sorry, but something about that just doesn't seem right to me. Sure, I'm grateful to the govt of China, her birthmom and her birthfather for my daughter, but that's it. I didn't believe I needed to sacrifice my ways of parenting my child (even for two weeks) just to appease strangers that I would never see again.

Once again, sorry for my rambles, and please, take it all with a grain of salt. You're doing wonderful, but I did read of some of your struggles and thought maybe I could offer a little insight!

Anonymous said...

I adopted my daughter when she was 21 months old and let me tell you it was hard. I knew after 1 day that my daughter was not going to be the rainbows and kitten adoptions I had read about. I had read about attachment issues before going to China and the group attach china was a life saver. My daughter was diagnosed with attachment disorder and we have had a very tough 21 months. BUT let me tell you that we have been home with her for 21 months and she is not the same child

She is sweet, loving and kind. She can now give and receive love and kisses and even after all of the terrible things we have had to deal with I would do it again. She has healed so much and we continue to help her but she is so worth the struggle.

Attach china has some incredibly good parenting tips for children having trouble attaching and even if your sweetie is not having attachment issues that are great bonding tools.

Anonymous said...

We wanted to write one last time and wish you a safe journey home. Aunt Rosanne says she can't wait for her invitation to meet Kassie Fu, and Uncle Aldo says he can't wait to play music for her and hear her sing! (He is offering to bring his accordian and provide entertainment for the Queen of Sheba). Dad also suggests maybe finding some CD's of the music Kassie likes, and playing them when you think she might be getting cranky. He said that works well with his students.
We feel honored to have been able to follow along with you, and we send lots of hugs and kisses. We are here if you ever need us for anything. Welcome to the family little Kassie Fu, and WELCOME HOME!
Love, Aunt Rosanne, Uncle Aldo, Adriana, Max, Archie, and Charlie